posted by american short-timer at Friday, June 16, 2006
writing for those who can't
short - tim·er shôrt tī'mer noun
1. one nearing the end of a contractual term of service; a military enlistee at the end of a tour.
2. one arrested in service past a mutually agreed upon date after invocation of an executive order.
3. one at the proverbial end of his proverbial rope.
Inference: declining institutional loyalty proportionate to the nearing of one's Expiration Term of Service.
See also: Boobus Enlisticatus.
ALSO:
I am not in Iraq and I am not currently in the Army and I am not getting my ass shot at. This site is in compliance with MNC-I #9 as per FICI-CE-I, DoD Directive 5230.9 and AR 25-1, etcetera etcetera andsoforth.
Drop american short-timer a line.
Charlie Yankee Alpha... out.
live each day as though it were to be your last, and one day you're sure to be right.
--Harry Harbord Morant
19 Comments:
Um, bartender.. I'll have what he's having...
Thank fucking god...now when's the book coming out?
Two games that aren't any better for all the high scores: arena football and cricket. That oughta be enough reason to not change the game. But then, I love soccer. I just fuckin' love it. It's halftime of the US game and I'm pacing around my house like a madwoman, already two beers already down and it's barely afternoon.
Welcome to your first real summer vacation! May this comment find you sufficiently hammered....
Glad to see you posting again, Short-timer!
a-fucking-men, AST.
Glad you made it home alive. Welcome to the next battlefield. See you in the trenches,
the heretic
Welcome home... Glad the motherfucker didn't scarf you up...
Shortster,
I'm trying to wrap my mind around this. You are home? I mean, really, actually, motherfuckingly home? In digs complete with a mattress, a flat screen TV and an occasional actual woman?
Oh man! I am SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU! Shit. I may have to go get sloshed tonight in honor of your return to the land of the mattress.
If you're ever in the Texas Hill Country, I'd love to buy your a bottle of whiskey.
Fuck a duck, man. Home.
Oh thank godless!
After you hadn't posted, I was certain that you were dead.
WB.
Antigone
Welcome home AST. The Esacpe Committee approved your plan then?
Good to have you back, AST, and even better to see you in such fine form.
Yes, welcome to the next battlefield indeed.
*emails you a bottle of Jack and a picture of her tits*
Just kidding. Really. *snort*
Dump it out on paper, cuz it's what you do best. Me and 185,987,945 other Murkins will buy it.
Ok, so I didn't actually email the Jack. I am drinking it.
That should have read:
"me and 185,987,945,677 Murkins will buy it."
Glad to see you back. I hope you're out PERMANENTLY. Welcome back to the world and keep posting.
Nancy
Glad to see you out safe and doing what vets do. Good luck on that Pulitzer man.
Good to see you out of the danger zone.
Yee haw. Hope yer enjoyin' them little yeller bastards over there in little yeller bastardville. Email me more often, 'cause I'm out now too mofo.
Yer Pal,
Earl
I'm very relieved to see you posting again, and from the US! welcome home, and drink more.
God knows if you'll even see this, as old as the post is, but I figured this would be a quintessential post to elaborate on how much I love the fucking insane "Eat my ass you piece of shit, I honestly couldn't give a fuck" style of writing, and how effectivey and INFECTIOUSLY it comes across.
When people compliment anything I write, I kinda hesitate to take it all in. I accept my mediocrity. Buzzell had a very casual way of writing where everything fell into place, where my shit is completely hit and miss.
But dude, you're in a totally different ballpark. I don't want to suck your balls or anything, I'm sure you've received plenty of praise, and if not, then fuck everyone so far who has never taken the time to send the least bit of feedback. I would totally rip your style off if I wasn't such a stubborn prick.
Spot on.
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