02 December 2005


I posted this just about right when I had made up my mind it was time to flip the bird. But I get the destinct feeling some readers don't give the site a thorough look-through. I don't speak for others, but concerning my own issues, I want to be perfectly clear. I appreciate all the kind words and support and the comments, but stuff like sacrifice freedom service honor duty country and thoughts along those lines just don't apply here. Most soldiers will receive those gratefully, and I encourage you to go find their online musings if you feel a compelling urge to utter such, as for me, this is a slug. And I'm just struggling to make it through. And that's all it is. That's it.

I may have had hero ambitions at one time, but I wanted to be a porn star too. Big effing deal. I grew up. Now I'm all old and wise and shit I just want to be left alone. And I can't even pull that off.

If it ever has to come to it, someone will read this. If they don't, I'll be one pissed off dead fuck.

Specialist ------ joined the Army for lack of better options and unspecified romantic notions. Specialist ------ was disillusioned with the Army almost immediately but vowed to ride out his enlistment. Always at odds with his superiors, Specialist ------ was a consumate boozer and whoremonger and reknown in his unit for arguing with superiors. During his brief military service he flirted with court martial, received at least one Article 15 and numerous counseling statements. His military accomplishments include forging pass forms, multiple dozen AWOLs, impersonating officers, destruction of government property, embezzlement, fraud, occasional and incidental efforts in the defense of one foreign country and more of same policing another.

Specialist ------ nurtured a sense of impending doom dating back to the earliest days of his service, but this certainly became more pronounced after his deployments to Korea and Iraq respectively. Specialist ------'s numerous scrapes with eternity include a richly deserved near-fatal stabbing at the hands of a woman of 'loose morals' ('a suuuuuper hottie' he averred later); nearly being shot by Korean Air Force personnel after stealthily infiltrating their base through the front gate late one night; gut-chucking-close-call cab rides through the winding Kyoungi roads at the darkest hours of the night; uncounted bouts of alcohol and food poisoning; some balancing off the ledges of tall buildings with sinister self-destuctive thoughts.

Specialist ------ felt compelled to chronical this brief history of his, admittedly, limited military accomplishments after noting an alarming increase in bombings and shootings in his current area of operations in the country of Iraq. Of the Iraq deployment, Specialist ------ offered: 'Stop-lossed and a wake-up motherfucker. If I'm lucky.'


Anonymous Janie said...

I wish the Army would have let you leave per your contract date.
I can't stand stop loss...it's been around for a long time and has affected many.

03 December, 2005 00:09  
Blogger Sara said...

FUCK YEAH!!!! Dude, lemme just say that I'm glad you went to Korea. I have my buddy Tom to talk about all the Afghani bullshit and things ya can't discuss with people who weren't there... but I don't have anyone who's been to both extremes. Neither of which are easily described - Korea being harder to define than A-stan, I think. You're someone who has been to both the land of drunken debauchery and of violent insanity.

Tony doesn't get any of it. He's not deployed in the same sense that I was deployed. He has a hard-topped room and an internet connection - IN HIS ROOM! He dislikes the politics of the company command. His deployment experience isn't of the certain knowledge that you're going to get blown to bits tomorrow, if not sooner. And Korea? Forget it. Try explaining a juicy. Curfew. The ville. KATUSAs. KATUSAs in the ville. 'A Phone Call from God'. Soju. CPs.Why it's the death of every marriage, or at the very least, an intensely weird period. Why is it always dark in Korea? It's like Gotham, man, shit only happens at night.

My favorite part of SRCing was the SGLI (life insurance, for the non-US military folk) bit. The part where ya got to play musical chairs, only to sign away the money that you will never see and then wait in line for at least another hour in another room to get it signed. When I SRC'd for Iraq (6th time SRCing, baby!) there was blood all over my SGLI form when I handed it over at the last station. I hadn't noticed it until that point. The civvie lady I handed it to frowned but pretended not to notice. I looked at my hands... no visible wounds. Was it from the old man in the last station that went over this with me and made all the copies? Or was it just there? Symbolic of all the destruction I was working towards creating. At least at that point I knew I wasn't going. My company was putting me through my last set of hoops just to watch me jump and I knew it. Still, it bugged me.

But I digress. I appreciate all of your writing. As much as I appreciate story telling time with my former partner-in-crime, Tom. Seriously. You make me feel like a whole person again, not some delusional raving idiot. Once again, best wishes, and thank you.

03 December, 2005 00:27  
Blogger charlie said...

A UK advertising campaign, AST, used to run this line: "It's a man's life in the Army."
What's manly about it, that's what I'd like to know? Where does all this 'manly' shite come from? Go home. Drink lattes. Write. Recover. Fuck the fuckwits.

03 December, 2005 02:07  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bro you deserve this. A saying from the Marines. I know you may not think you're worthy, but you sound like you can bitch as good as any military wife. So here it goes...just change the words to fit your branch of service. "I love the fuckin' Marine Corps and the Marine Corps loves fuckin' me."

Keep up the blog man your keepin up my moral here in the statesreading this good shit.

03 December, 2005 21:36  
Anonymous fnulnu said...

Foxtrot Tango Alpha Shortimer: Different war same trip. It's a shame how some shit only seems to change in the little details around the edges.
Nice to know Korea is just as weird as it always was.
I had my oh fuck moment on the second day(re last post) scrubbing a floor in Ft. Benning while Richard Nixon was being inaugurated on the dayroom TV. Fuck. Covert resistance from then on.
I can say, if and when you get out, it does help to let go some of the rage. Might take a while though.
Good luck. We're all short-timers on this planet and you never know when it's coming.

06 December, 2005 10:26  
Blogger Diane S. said...

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for consumate boozers and whoremongers and those reknowned for arguing with superiors.

06 December, 2005 13:08  
Blogger american short-timer said...

Hey guys,

This is wonderful. Thx again for reading Janie! Sara... you bring a smile. Can never thank you enough for the support.

Someone mentioned marines and military wives and bitching in one sentence and I'm in the mood right now to take it well and consider it a compliment. Shit... assholes take potshots and I guess it's nothing more than trying to reach out and touch... you know, make that cosmic connection.

fnulnu... FTA!!!! Rockin'!

And Diane... that is the nicest observation I've ever heard from a woman in reference to my recreational proclivities. I'm floored.

07 December, 2005 13:16  
Blogger Texana said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

08 December, 2005 15:42  

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